Be The Parent
Seven Choices You Can Make To Raise Great Kids

by Kendra Smiley

The First Choice You Can Make To Raise Great Kids
CHOOSE TO BE THE PARENT

Sometimes the disobedience is subtle: "I don't want to get in my seat," the youngster says calmly. "I'm tired. Do we have to go to the store today? Could we go tomorrow?"
Sometimes it is radical: "I hate my car seat," shrieks the toddler. "I hate this car! I hate you!"

No one wants to have her parental authority questioned. When your child's challenge is a mild one, it is upsetting. When the response is extreme, it can be devastating. You think you are failing. Your household has been turned upside down, and you feel like you are the worst parent in the entire world! Those thoughts are very real, but they are not accurate. The question is not, “Who is the worst parent in the entire world?” The question is, “Now what?”
"I am the parent. He is the child." I said those two sentences more than once as we were raising our kids. Who was I trying to convince? Probably both of us: myself and my child. Actually, it was more of a reminder - a reminder I needed when there had been a mysterious role reversal.

So what's the answer? The first step:

1.) Admit it when there is a problem in need of a solution.

After this step, then you are able to go on to step two:

2.) Build your confidence
How did your parenting confidence erode in the first place? Many times losing a simple skirmish will trigger the wearing away of a parent's confidence. When you pick a battle, you must win.

Dad is in the local pizza parlor with a group of friends. His child has finished eating, but the group as a whole is not done. Little Hannah starts to squirm in her chair, and Dad tells her to stay seated. Almost before the words leave his mouth, she jumps down and walks around the table to visit with one of the other adults. "Is this really so bad?" Dad asks himself. "She isn't running around or causing a commotion." So he lets it go and doesn't reinforce the instruction that was given.

Is it a big deal for this youngster to leave her seat and walk around the table? No. Is it a big deal to willfully disobey an instruction from her parent? Yes! Dad just lost a battle he chose to fight. His confidence is potentially disintegrating and so is his child's respect for him. It's important to think about your commands before you give them. Pick your battles wisely.
How do you raise your confidence? Snap back to reality! It is NEVER best to allow your child to control your household. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, you are better equipped for the job of being in charge. Your confidence level should be raised just by doing a reality check. Please repeat after me...

I am the parent...THAT is reality.
He (or she) is the child...THAT is reality.
I am older and wiser...THAT is reality.
God has given me the parenting responsibility...THAT is reality.
He will equip me to do the job...THAT is reality.
I can have God-given confidence in my role...THAT is reality.
I am the parent!

So you've been given a summary of points one and two. In the next e-newsletter, we'll cover the next three points;

3.) See the vision
4.) Develop a plan.
5.) Know you will make mistakes, and keep on learning

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