The emotional development pattern of children only gives us a limited window of opportunity in which we can earn the right to impress. During these early years we must become a trusted friend and respected mentor if we hope to influence their lives as they mature. Follow four simple guidelines, and you will earn the right to impress.

1.) Be There

Absent or detached parents don't impress. Frolic with your children while they are very young. At times it may seem like there are a thousand "more important" things to do. But it will pay tremendous dividends in the long run. Why? Because you are earning the right to impress. Teach them how to interact. Be an example in keeping your cool. Show them how important they are by spending precious time with them. Don't offer them your leftover, fatigued, half-interested time slots. Give them a piece of your quality time. It will speak volumes to them.

2.) Be Fair

Children have an innocent, straightforward desire to do what is fair and be treated fairly. Striving to be fair should not cause you to always have to sit down and ponder what to do. Being fair means you will be clear in your instructions. It means you will be open and honest with your feelings, being frank without being harsh. You will always be equitable. That means you will be equal in regards to the rights of each child.

3.) Be Consistent

Nothing will undermine your ability to impress faster than inconsistency. The Scriptures say it this way: "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways...let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay" (James 1:8, 5:12). If something is bad for your children when you are euphoric, then it is also bad for them when you are depressed. We often allow our feelings to dictate our parenting skills. Our disposition determines our answers, forcing the kids to determine the bias of our mood before they ask important questions. Unwittingly, we force them to master the art of manipulation.

Remember, consistency is the mark of a follower of Christ. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8).

If you are given to mood swings, deal with them so the kids don't have to. Don't allow how you feel to dictate how you parent.

4.) Be Predictable

Martha attended one church where I was a pastor, yet I admit I tried to avoid her like the flu. In fact, I almost would rather catch the flu than encounter her. The flu only lasted a couple of days, after all. I have never met such an unpredictable person. One Sunday I might be smothered in honey, and the next, I might be spewed upon with hot breath.

Martha could swell up and explode one day, then the next show genuine humility. I don't think it was hypocrisy or schizophrenia, just unpredictable and unsettling changes in behavior. The only words my mind would say to me after an encounter with Martha would be "go figure".

Imagine what that's like to our children. Indeed, our kids sometimes find us as parents equally unpredictable. It shakes them. It makes us unapproachable. It pushes them away. Predictability helps give our children a balance approach to life.

Be there, be fair, be consistent, be predictable. All these are a part of the prerequisite attitudes that help parents earn the latent license that allows them to impress their children.

In the next e-newsletter, we'll offer you a game plan for beginning to create lasting impressions in your family. You won't want to miss this critical portion taken from the book Your Heritage.

Adapted from Your Heritage by J. Otis Ledbetter & Kurt Bruner.  All rights reserved.  HeritageBuilders.com