HeritageBuilders

There are two aspects to this question. The first is to understand the priorities and disciplines of a
Godly man and the second is to understand that the spiritual training of children is the parent's
responsibility not the churches!!

Let me start with the second. Our mandate as parents comes from Deuteronomy 6: 4-7 and Ephesians
6:4.

"Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all
your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you (parents) today are to be
upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you
walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." (NIV)

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the
Lord"

It is our responsibility before God to raise our children in the Lord so as to bring them to a point of
personal decision. Barna research found in their book, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions
that, Parents must invest in the moral and spiritual growth of their children with great concern, care
and conscientiousness. No matter how hard a church tries, it is incapable of bringing a child to compete
spiritual maturity - that is the job of the family. Why, because other statistics show that parents have
2-3 times the impact of any church program.

As for the Priorities and Disciplines of a Godly man and woman, it is important to understand that God
has an "established order of importance" in our relationships. They are: 1- God, 2- Spouse, 3 - Children,
4- Ministry, 5- Work.

They are vertical not horizontal. In other words, it is like the briefing you receive on an airplane for a
rapid decompression. We are instructed to place the oxygen mask over our own mouths before
attempting to help our children. The reason, if we become incapacitated in the process, both can
become unconscious. So it is with priorities. If your relationship with our God is not what it is intended
to be, your relationship with your wife can not be all it is intended to be and then your relationship with
your children will not be all they were intended to be…..

In Matthew 6:33 we are instructed to "..seek after His Kingdom and righteousness and all these things
(worldly needs) will be given to you as well." The point is that we need to be more concerned about
being the priests of the family than providers! He promises that He will provide if we pursue. So here
are some selected thoughts to help you understand and get started in making these priorities spiritual
disciplines.

1 - A Man or Woman and Their God: The greatest command is to:"Love the Lord your God will all your
heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." He is to be our passion and purpose in life. A
relationship starts with knowledge of a person. You must know a person to have a closer relationship.
You will not trust someone you do not know. In God's case, you will not put your faith in Him if you do
not know him.

Here is how it works:
* Your knowledge of God determines your love for God,
* Your love for God determines Your Obedience to God and
* Your Obedience determines Your experience with God.

So in regard to disciplines, first you need to be a man or woman of God's Word.
You can not know God and what is on the heart of God if you do not know the Word of God. There is a
difference between knowing of God and knowing God of the Word.

It tells us in 2 Tim 3:16 that: "All scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking,
correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be equipped for every good work."

Spend "unhurried time" in God's word every day, seeking His guidance and direction. It is essential to a
vibrant relationship -just as communication is key to intimacy, so it is with God. We need him to speak
into our lives through scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Second, you need to be a man or woman of prayer! No man is greater than his prayer life and people
who are not praying are straying!! God commands us to pray, for it is vital to our relationship.

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find. Knock and it will be opened to
you."

In Luke 11, Jesus teaches on prayer and offers the Lord's Prayer as a model. If you look at that prayer
you will find that there are several key elements to effective prayer that can be put into the acronym
P.R.A.Y.

Start with Praise: "Our Father in Heaven Hollowed be they name
Seek Repentance: "Forgive us our sins, as we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us, and lead us
not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one"
Ask: "Give us day by day our daily bread."
Yield to His Will: "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven"

2 - A Man and Woman and their spouse: Men and Women are instructed in Ephesians 5:33 NIV
However, each one of you (husbands) also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect her husband. Just like a head of a church must give account for the spiritual well being of the
members, so husbands, as spiritual leaders of their family are responsible for the spiritual well being of
their wives and children.

Husbands are to do all in their power to promote their wives' holiness, understand and meet her needs,
and encourage their wives to be all that God has purposed for them. He should care for her spiritual
well-being just as he cares for his own.

The wife needs to acknowledge and respect her husband's role as spiritual leader. Through words of
encouragement and acts of service, she can demonstrate her feelings of admiration and support.
However, Godly spiritual leadership involves service. A husband "earns" the respect of his wife by
"serving and caring" for her spiritual well being. Submission becomes mutual through each serving the
needs of the other.

Your Marriage is an earthly representation of the trinity. Think of it as a triangle. God is on the top and
the husband is on one bottom corner while the wife is on the other bottom corner. The closer the
husband and wife move up the triangle to God, the closer they come to each other and the desired
oneness God intended.
Let's define Oneness as: Two individuals who are joined to form a new 3rd identity of us or we-ness vs
me-ness.

Matt. 19:5,6 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the
two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one, Therefore, what God has joined
together, let man not separate.

The ESV commentary states: marriage is not merely a human agreement but a relationship in which God
changes the status of a man and a woman from being single (they are no longer two) to being married
(one flesh). From the moment they are married, they are unified in a mysterious way that belongs to no
other human relationship, having all the God-given rights and responsibilities of marriage that they did
not have before.

There must take place a shift in thinking from what is best for self to what is best for "us." Research
shows that people who are most comfortable thinking in terms of "we" tend to be most dedicated and
happy in marriages.

Key areas of application that help establish this second position include: Praying together and having
daily devotional time: knowing, relating and serving each other through needs and love languages.

3 - A Man and Women and their Family: Deuteronomy is clear in its instructions to parents:
"Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all
your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you (parents) today are to be
upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you
walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." (NIV)When it comes to our kids, we are
responsible for loving, teaching and disciplining them in such a way that they may come to the point of
decision to Follow Christ, seeking the same hope that lies within us. This is why Heritage Builders was
established, to provide a plan on how parents can be successful in passing their faith to the next
generation.

Dr. Dobson once stated: Our kids live and breathe in a culture permeated by the toxins of death and
moral decay. Or sons and daughters face an enemy who wants to consume them and wound them
before they ever get started in life. So, now more than ever we need to take seriously our biblical
mandate to instill a life-giving and life- affirming faith within our children. I believe our biggest point of
accountability will be how well we made the transition of dependence from their earthly fathers to their
heavenly father.

Understand and implement the Heritage Builders principles while seeking other Biblical counsel on issues
you may be struggling with as a family: School choices, disciplinary concerns, behavioral
characteristics, marital issues…. The idea is that you will know what you can deal with and seek help
early on the things you are not equipped to address as parents (suicide, drug abuse..)

4 - A Man and Women and their Ministry. In Romans 12:3-8 it talks about how each of us has been
given a "gift" to serve the body of Christ: "Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is
given us, let us use them.."
Our gifts have been given to us to help "build up the body of Christ." Your greatest satisfaction will
come when you are doing what you have been created to do! Each of us needs to learn our gifts and
engage in ministering to the body. Today, the 80-20 rule still holds, 80% of the work is being done by
20% of the body. Here is a list and definition of the seven gifts identified in Romans - find yours and
then go talk to your pastor to see how you can be "used by God."

Prophesying: Also known as Perceiver, Provoker and Proclaimer; Driven to speak up and assert the
truth. Likes to be persuasive and articulate. Sees in Black and White. Has the ability to recall scripture
verses and principles. Hates evil. Open about own faults. Needs to argue for what is right even if
unpopular.

Serving: Also known as Helper or Doer; Driven to quietly free up others by tirelessly taking care of
routine and short term tasks and details without complaining. Likes to energetically pitch-in without
being asked. Excellent host. Needs tasks.

Teaching: Also known as Seminarian, Theologian; Driven to accurately clarify the truth. Likes to learn
and share.

Thorough. Finds new insights others do not see. Needs to report insights.

Encouraging: Also known as the Exhorter, Influencer, Counselor or Coach; Ministers directly to people
offering hope and optimism. Likes to take a personal interest in others by offering positive advice.
Promotes discipleship.

Contributing: Also known as Giver, Resource Provider or Philanthropist; Drive to generously give money,
time and other resources to worthwhile causes and ministries. Needs to be thrifty and wise with money.
Likes low-key approach.

Leadership: Also known as Administrator, Organizer, or Executive;. Ministers to improve the process to
get better results by increasing efficiency and effectiveness. Irritated by chaos, waste, failure and
disorder. Likes to take charge and set goals. Good at breaking down big projects into tasks. Good
problem solver.

Showing Mercy: Also known as compassion, Kindness or Care Giver; Ministers to the hurting and less
fortunate. Is quick to be forgiving and accepting, non-judgmental, self-sacrificing, genuinely values
others and seeks to be at peace with everyone.

5 - A Man and Woman and their Work: We already established that God is responsible for the
provision of our families, as long as we are seeking His Kingdom and righteousness. We are to pursue
work that engages our gifts, talents and abilities. The concept is that we will work for God as we are
employed. Each of us is being "scattered" into all walks of life where now our work is our mission field.
Just as the church grew rapidly in acts when the people were scattered, so by each of us entering
different professions, some ministry and others secular we have the ability to share Christ. A saying
goes: you should share the Gospel as often as you can and only when you need to use words!
Colossians 3:23-24 states:

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know
that you will receive your inheritance from the Lord as your reward. It is the Lord Christ you are
serving. "

Our work becomes a way to glorify God through our service to others, especially our employer and the
customers he serves. As we work with high integrity and productivity, we will be noticed and when
asked what motivates us, we have the opportunity to share the hope that lies within us. So, be above
reproach at work, seek to be the top performer, build an environment of teamwork, pray for your
co-workers and the opportunity to share and stand for your faith. God will bless your obedience

So, if you are slammed, re-evaluate what you are spending your time on. Lawyers typically account for
every minute of their day by keeping a billing log. Track your time for a week and see where your time
goes. Then start to schedule the important into your planner and the unimportant will fall off!!! A simple
way to make this work is to take a 3x5 card and list your priorities at the beginning of each week, as
we identified. Then answer this question for each: "What am I going to do to further my relationship
with my (God, Wife, Kids, Ministry, Work): It can be simple things like:

* God: Get a devotional that engages me and set aside 15 minutes every morning to read and study it.

* Wife: Mail her a card from work with a hand not of encouragement and love.

* Kids: Start Family Nights once per week

* Ministry: Help at men's pancake breakfast

* Work: I will watch my language and gossip

* Your priorities will become your disciplines!!